VP of Conceptual Expansion and Post-Intent Strategy™
Location: Conceptionally TBD
Department: Strategic Post-Intent
Type: Full-Time, Intent-Based Contract
Bradical Strategies™ is seeking a VP of CEPIS to expand our footprint in markets that do not technically exist, through development strategies that are emotionally satisfying, if not legally sound. This individual will lead from within — conceptually — leveraging frameworks like Directional Osmosis™ and Pre-Alignment Market Foresight™ to out-think, out-maneuver, and out-vague our competitors.
Key Responsibilities:
- Own the “why” behind every quarterly goal slide
- Orchestrate synergy between departments that have never met
- Forecast hypothetical growth in post-hierarchical org charts
- Maintain stakeholder suspense through deliberate ambiguity
- Create roadmaps that double as spiritual exercises
Required Qualifications:
- 10+ years in strategic roleplay or high-level workshop attendance
- Experience in ghost-mergers or spectral joint ventures
- Fluent in acronyms, passive voice, and conditional enthusiasm
- MBA or equivalent in Metaphorical Thinking
Perks:
- A desk facing true north (for optimal alignment)
- Access to the Executive Reflection Sphere Lounge™
- Unlimited post-it notes labeled “Vision”
- Complimentary onboarding flask (hydration not included)
Compensation:
- Competitive salary in PercepToken™.
- Unlimited Pre-Approved Thought Optimization days.
- Access to the Emotional Composting Room.
If this sounds like your next theoretical leap forward, don’t apply — just send an impression of your resume via our BAM system.
About Bradical Conglomerate™
We are the global leader in Perception-Oriented Value Realignment, operating at the intersection of alignment theory, emotional liquidity, and conceptual resilience. We exist to make your confusion scalable.
Stay abstract. Stay loosely accountable. Stay Bradical.
